November 9, 2007

A Clarification

I received an email over the weekend from Cal, who wanted to clarify the details of his story that I posted last week. Apparently I didn't have the story exactly right. Here's what Cal told me.


Thanks for the kind words. I do love my children more than anything in the world. However, the details of the story you told about Jack's death were incorrect, and I couldn't let that slide.

When I heard my boys yelling to me, I ran to find them hanging off the edge of a steep cliff, like you said. I looked at Brady first and said, "Do you want me to pull you up, Brady? Do you believe that I can pull you up here and save you from falling?" He looked back at me and said, "Yes Dad please save me! I believe you can save me!" and I grabbed him and pulled him up to safety.

Then I looked at Jack and said, "Jack, do you want me to pull you up? Do you want me to save you?" He also looked back at me with eyes full of fear, and said "No thanks, Dad, I think I can pull myself up." Because I trust my son and value the choices he makes, I didn't force myself upon him. I let him try to pull himself up. When he slipped, I had a chance to grab his arm and keep him from dropping, so I asked again, "Do you want me to save you, son? Do you believe I can save you now?" He didn't respond, and refusing to violate his freedom I allowed him to fall.

I hope that clears things up for you, Jason. It was good to hear from you.

I had no idea. What I thought was a choice to show how great he was turned out to have been an act of compassion, as he trusted his son to make that choice for himself and never once forced him to be saved. Like I said before, what an incredible father.


Matthew said...

I like this story better.

asimptote said...

how old was jack when he died?

Alex Paik said...

I'd still call Childline.


This has to be a metaphor

Jason said...

Let's say Jack was 8.